RIP #14

I saw a post today that showed the face of a beautiful young woman and read “…14th murdered black transwoman of 2017″…. My first thought was “14?! dead transperson”- Then “14th black person… this year?! How many have there been altogether?”

I feel conditioned guilt when I say this, but a part of me feels like gay/trans/LGBTQIZ … is the new and old black.

Now that is a bold. statement. I do not mean to minimize the atrocity of the enslavements of Africans by the US… nor the discrimination and prejudices endured by those of African decent living in America.

What I do mean is that the discrimination, lack of empathy, bottom of the barrel attitude of this country is geared toward those in the LGBTQ community, and that we are the punching bag for all other minorities.

I have been set up, abused, kicked out of churches, fired, looked down upon, discriminated again, verbally berated, and bullied by all races- all minorities.

I couldn’t figure it out.. All the time my friends would say ” The weirdest things always happen to you” Or act appalled, fringing on insinuating that I made things up, when I would tell them about one of the aforementioned events.

I started to think it was all in my head. Because in my mind, if my black, latino, overweight, punk, etc friends were never treated with disdain like I was – I couldn’t be discrimination and it must be ME. I must be “bad”

It didn’t click until a former employer set me up on something so extreme that when I asked a trusted co worker what was going on, she said ” Did you ever think it’s because you’re gay?”

Bing! light bulbs lit bright everywhere. Yes. Not only am I gay. I am trans. I go by my sex pronoun, but I clearly appear “other” or “trans”.

As those bulbs lit, I remembered NO ONE congratulating me when we could get married. I was a therapist at a Reservation at the time. When the Orlando shooting occurred I asked my supervisor ( our MENTAL HEALTH EXPERT) if I could take PTO, told her I was in shock. She asked me “Why?” I told her “the Orlando shooting” she said ” Oh. I didn’t even put that together.” Months later I was in a car accident at work. I couldn’t fly out of the state the next week due to documented injuries. Work said I have a “history” of being in shock and told me they notice them accommodating me a lot and that I need to apply for disability due to my “PTSD”- I was puzzled and asked what they were referring to…. I took PTO off the day Orlando happened. And I also went to Tribal Council to press for LGBT youth groups. They told me “that doesn’t exist anymore”- three months Later I was fired, the weekend before Christmas.

**** Note. I had four EXCELLENT work reviews prior to these incidences. In fact I had one one month before I urged for LGBT Youth Groups and three months before I was fired for “misconduct.”


Then using my current job’s interview, we were in a customer service training for our medical staff. One person stated they don’t feel comfortable tx trans clients. One African American Female doctor stated ” They are against my religious beliefs but I will treat them as a patient” Then an African American Behavioral Health *** worker, stated ” Just because we work with them doesn’t mean we have to march in their parades.”

I was sitting right next to her. I thought HOW is this real? It’s 2017. ( and we are being murdered in 2017. With now outreach, support, media coverage. She did not leave us in vain.)

And how can groups like the Native Americans and African American who were (are) tortured, discriminated again, and neglected by the US government buy into hating GAYS.

The same government used their religion to board them, enslave them, beat them, discriminate, slander, and hold them down.

I get why. They are believing their thoughts.

My intent isn’t to hate or blame. My intent is to educate, to speak, to open the eyes of those who are hurting.

You are not alone.

You are not crazy.

The time to change is NOW.

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